March 11, 2007 message by Rich Doebler
2 Corinthians 4:16-18 (NIV) Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
Romans 8:28 (NIV) And we know that in all things [not in some things, not in most things—but in all things] God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
Can our unanswered prayers really be blessings in disguise? Country singer Dolly Parton once said: "The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain."
Is that the way it is? You have to get soaked to get the rainbow? Is it really possible that God can do something bigger and better when he works through storms? When things don't go right?
If so, how should we feel about unanswered prayers?
Did you hear the story about the journalist who was assigned to cover news in Jerusalem? She rented an apartment overlooking the Wailing Wall. Every day when she looked out, she saw an old Jewish man praying vigorously, rocking back and forth.
So finally, the journalist goes down and introduces herself to the old man. She says, "You come every day to the wall. How long have you done that, and what are you praying for?"
The old man replies, "I have come here to pray every day for 25 years. In the morning I pray for world peace and for the brotherhood of all mankind. I go home, have a cup of tea, and then I come back in the afternoon and pray for that all illness and disease would be wiped away from the earth."
The journalist is amazed. "How does it make you feel to come here every day for 25 years and pray for such wonderful things?" she asks.
The old man looks at her and says, "How do I feel? I'll tell you how I feel. I feel like I'm talking to a wall." [Religious Joke of the Day, beliefnet.com (4/25/03)]
What do we do when it feels like we're only talking to a wall? What do we do with unanswered prayers?
Someone said to me recently, "There's no such thing as an unanswered prayer." He was talking about God responding—in one way or another—to every prayer. If God doesn't answer with a "yes," then he may be saying "wait a while"; and if his answer isn't "wait," then he's probably saying "no." My friend's opinion was simply that every prayer is answered—even if it's not the answer we want to hear.
That's one way to look at unanswered prayers. But from my perspective, it's not a very satisfying explanation. What about the times that God didn't seem to answer? When he didn't seem to come through for you? When you asked for his help, but he didn't seem to be listening? Maybe you felt like he didn't even care. What about those times?
Author and Christian psychologist, Larry Crabb, wrote about his first experience with unanswered prayer in an article in Pray! magazine. He says he was 10 when he first heard Matt 21:22 where Jesus says, "If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer." It was the "whatever" model of prayer—believe, ask for whatever you want, and it's yours. He says he remembes running outside, standing on the driveway, closing his eyes real tight, and praying: God, I want to fly like Superman... And I believe you can do it. So I'll jump, and you take it from there.
Larry jumped four times—and each time he landed half a second later and half a foot farther down the driveway. He had believed and he had asked—just like Jesus said. But he didn't receive. In the article he writes: "Thus began my 50-year journey of confusion about prayer." [Larry Crabb, "Great Expectations," Pray! (November/December 2006), p. 34]
One problem we have when it comes to prayer is our immature understanding. On a spiritual level, we're still kind of like a 10-year-old. We have certain things we'd like to have happen—and we want God to make them happen. We want superhuman powers. We want to fly. We want to leap tall buildings in a single bound. We want to see through solid walls. We want to be more powerful than a locomotive.
But God isn't concerned about our immature desires. He's more interested in our maturity—he wants us to grow spiritually. He wants us to desire the same things he desires. But we usually pray from how we see things, not how he sees them.
And when we pray and still our plans don't work out or our dreams are broken, we get frustrated and disappointed. Sometimes our faith takes a major hit. Sometimes we go through spiritual struggles. Sometimes we find ourselves in a spiritual wilderness. Our souls become withered and dry. We try to understand God—try to understand his mysterious ways—and we're left with more questions than answers.
Bronze heavens. In the OT God tells his people that there can be times when the heavens will be like bronze (Deut 28:23, NASB)—when prayers bounce off the skies instead of penetrating through to God.
What should we do when it feels as though our prayers just bounce off the ceiling? Like they don't get through? What should we do when we get discouraged? When we lose hope?
Job in the Bible felt discouraged. He said: "If only I knew where to find him; if only I could go to his dwelling! ...But if I go to the east, he is not there; if I go to the west, I do not find him. When he is at work in the north, I do not see him; when he turns to the south, I catch no glimpse of him" (Job 23:3,8-9, NIV).
What should we do when we can't find God? When it seems like God is playing hide-n-seek? When prayers go unanswered?
1. First, be honest. Let's be real. We come to church because we want to build our faith. We want to encourage and strengthen each other. These are good goals. We don't want to undermine faith. We don't want to be discouraged.
But there's a problem when these goals prevent us from being honest. When they cause us to pretend all is well, when the truth is we're hurting deep down inside.
Let's stop playing games. The truth is we've all encountered times that have shaken our faith. When our prayers seemed to go unanswered. When the promises in the Bible didn't seem to work. At times we've all we felt disappointed by God, or confused about what he was doing, or even ignored and abandoned by God.
So what would happen if we could be honest with each other? If we could be real? We'd discover we aren't alone.
2. Second, remember you're not alone. Many great men and women of God have been frustrated with the ways God seems to not be working. Many mature believers have been disappointed by prayers not being answered.
Phillip Yancey is one. He wrote a book called Disappointment with God.
Missionary Gracia Burnham is another. She was held captive by terrorists in the Philippines for more than a year. Her husband, Martin, was killed in a gun battle during the rescue operation. She writes: "Sometimes I wonder, Why did Martin die when everyone was praying he wouldn't? Why does Scripture lead you to believe that if you pray a certain way, you'll get what you pray for? People all over the world were praying that we'd both get out alive, but we didn't." [Corrie Cutrer, "Soul Survivor," Today's Christian Woman (July/Aug 2003), p. 50]
My mother is another. Forty years ago she prayed that my 8-year-old brother would not die from encephalitis. She felt God's strong confirmation that he would be healed. She asked the pastor to anoint Ronald with oil and pray. As an act of faith, she even took his clothes to the hospital so he would have something to wear when God healed him. And when word came (while we were at church) that Ronald had died, my mother went straight home and fell on her knees and prayed again—this time that God would raise him up from the dead. Despite her faith and her trust in God, my brother wasn't healed.
If you've ever had prayers that have gone unanswered, you're not alone. Even many spiritual giants we read about in the Bible experienced times when it seemed they were abandoned by God. Like us, they were frustrated, confused, and disappointed.
Job (about whom God said, "There is no one on earth like him; he is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil" [1:8]) experienced unimaginable suffering and loss. Job said: "God has wronged me... Though I cry, ‘I've been wronged!' I get no response; though I call for help, there is no justice" (19:6-7).
Moses said to God: "...It is too much for me. If you are going to continue doing this to me, then kill me now. If you care about me, put me to death, and then I won't have any more troubles" (Num 11:14-15, NCV).
Elijah, after a spiritual victory, saw things unravel, and he had to run for his life. He escaped into the wilderness and sat under a bush where he prayed: "I've had enough... Take away my life. I've got to die sometime, and it might as well be now" (1 Kings 19:4, LB).
John the Baptist was faithful to God, but was thrown into a dark dungeon with rats and spiders and bugs. And sitting there in the cold and damp, he began to have doubts. And he sent word to Jesus, asking him: "Are you really the one we are waiting for, or shall we keep on looking? (Matt 11:3, LB)
David (who was describe as the man after God's own heart) prayed: "My God... Why do you remain so distant? Why do you ignore my cries for help? Every day I call to you, my God, but you do not answer. Every night you hear my voice, but I find no relief" (Psalms 22:1-2, NLT).
Paul, the apostle who wrote so much of the NT, said, "I think you ought to know...about the trouble we went through in the province of Asia. We were crushed and completely overwhelmed, and we thought we would never live through it. (We even gave up hope of living [NCV].) In fact, we expected to die..." (2 Cor 1:8-9, NLT).
Jesus, who agonized about the cross and begged his Father for another way, ended up a few hours later feeling completely abandoned and ignored. He prayed: "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" (Matt 27:46, NIV).
The list could go on and on" Habakkuk, Naomi, Hosea, Isaiah, Jeremiah, Daniel, Thomas, Peter. Righteous people who saw their hopes die and their dreams destroyed. People who felt like God was ignoring them. People who felt like their prayers were unanswered.
If you've ever struggled over your prayers not being answered in the way you hoped for or when you wanted, then you're in good company. You're not alone. There are no Teflon-coated Christians who never have any troubles stick to them.
3. Own up to your shortcomings. There are a number of reasons why prayers may not be answered—when we pray for the wrong things, out of God's will and purpose; when we ask for the wrong reasons or have inappropriate motives; when we have breakdowns in our marriage or other relationships; when we have not waited sufficiently for God's timing; when we lack persistence in our prayers.
But our prayers can also go unanswered because of our own lack of faith or even because of sin in our lives, which creates a spiritual barrier between us from God. If God's Spirit brings conviction to our lives, we should own up to our shortcomings. Confess sin. Ask for forgiveness. Pray like the man in Mark 9: "I believe! Help me with my unbelief."
4. Sidestep condemnation. But if your conscience is clear and God doesn't show you any shortcoming to own up to, then don't beat yourself up because somehow your faith seems inadequate. Our job is to ask; God's part is to answer.
Knowing that other strong believers have struggled in prayer, can encourage us that we don't have to blame ourselves. We can sidestep condemnation. We don't have to beat ourselves up because somehow we're not spiritual enough or because we don't have enough faith.
Unanswered prayers might result from a failure on our part—but not necessarily! If all these spiritual giants experienced problems, we shouldn't be too surprised if we do as well.
Struggles and doubts and disappointments are part of life here in a fallen, ruined world. Of course we will experience some incredible blessings! Believers will have mountain-top experiences, great victories, overcoming power.
But in between the mountains, there will be valleys. There will be times when we can't see the horizon—when we can't see the big picture. There will be times when our vision is blocked by impossible problems —by huge mountains that seem immovable.
And at times like this, God may be up to something bigger that we can't see. Perhaps it's not our fault that our prayers seem ineffective. Perhaps the reason our prayers don't seem to be working has more to do with God's bigger picture than with our puny faith.
Could it be that the reason we can't understand what's going on with our prayers is that our limited human minds can't handle the mysteries of God? Could it be that perhaps the reason we feel left in the dark, is that God has something so big and so incredible in mind that it's impossible for us to grasp it?
The Bible says that God's thoughts are not the same as ours. It says that his ways and his thoughts are higher—way higher—than our ways (Isaiah 55:8-9).
So is there anything we can do when our faith is tested? When God throws us a curve ball? What can we do when we find it difficult to comprehend God's mysterious ways?
This is where FAITH comes into play. Trials come to grow our faith, so we must...
5. Allow faith to grow. "...it is necessary for you to endure many trials for a while," Peter wrote. "These trials are only to test your faith" (1 Peter 1:6-7, NLT).
"We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials," Paul wrote, "for we know that they are good for us" (Romans 5:3, NLT).
This is where we have to accept the fact that God is bigger and higher than we are. This is where we need to acknowledge that we're not going to be able to explain the situation. We're not going to be able to understand everything that's going on. Because if we could it explain our troubles, then it wouldn't be FAITH!
This is where FAITH comes to rest in a settled assurance that God is in control—even when we can't see it. Faith trusts that God is working something out that is eternal and good and right—even when all we can see is risk and danger and all we can feel is the fear of being out of control.
Not long before his death, Henri Nouwen wrote a book called Sabbatical Journeys. In it he writes about some friends of his who were trapeze artists, called the Flying Roudellas.
They told him there's a special relationship between flyer and catcher on the trapeze. The flyer is the one that lets go, and the catcher is the one that catches. As the flyer swings high above the crowd on the trapeze, the moment comes when he must let go. He arcs out into the air. His job is to remain as still as possible and wait for the strong hands of the catcher to pluck him from the air.
One of the Flying Roudellas told Nouwen, "The flyer must never try to catch the catcher." The flyer must wait in absolute trust. The catcher will catch him, but he must wait.
Faith is letting go and waiting for God to do the catching. Faith is trusting God even when we think he's about to let us fall. Even when the evidence says he's ignoring us.
"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen" (Heb 11:1, KJV). Living Bible: "What is faith? It is the confident assurance that something we want is going to happen. It is the certainty that what we hope for is waiting for us, even though we cannot see it up ahead."
Remember the verses we read at the beginning? They tell us that we can't see everything yet. They tell us that the problems we see now are going to end. They tell us that better things far bigger than our unanswered prayers are coming. They tell us that though they're still invisible to us now, they are going to last forever.
Eugene Peterson's The Message paraphrases 2 Cor 4:16-18 like this: "So we're not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace. These hard times are small potatoes compared to the coming good times, the lavish celebration prepared for us. There's far more here than meets the eye. The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can't see now will last forever" (MSG).
I like his phrase, "unfolding grace." God's grace is still being unfolded for us. There's still more to discover. There's still more of God's grace to experience.
Imagine opening a gift box on your birthday. Imagine your husband bringing you a gift from an exquisite dress shop. I know—that may be difficult to imagine. My wife doesn't allow me to buy her clothes for gifts because I always get the wrong thing. But let's imagine that the impossible has happened.
At your first glimpse, you can see that it's some kind of fabric, but you can't see what it is. You pull back the tissue paper and touch the fabric. It's elegant. Rich. This is a wonderful gift, but you still don't know what it is because it's still in the box. It's still folded up. You don't know if it's a dress or a blouse or a jacket or a skirt. You have to reach into the box and begin to pull out your gift. You have to unfold it so you can see it completely.
In the same way, we've just peeked beneath the tissue paper of God's grace. We know it's a wonderful, rich, elegant gift. We know his grace is amazing. But we still haven't seen the big picture. We still haven't discovered the fullness of God's grace—because it still needs to be unfolded. And on the outside when it looks like things are falling apart, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace.
Right now—in this life—we've just opened the box. We've just glimpsed the gift of God's grace. Let's look inside the box today. Let's pull back the tissue paper. Let's touch God's elegant, rich gift. And then let's allow God to unfold his grace a bit further in our lives today. Let's trust God to do his work in us to bless us and enrich us—not in spite of our troubles and problems, but by using them to create something better in us.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28, NIV).