Submitted by admin on Wed, 01/26/2011 - 8:15am
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Having loved his own who were in the world, he now showed them the full extent of his love. (13:1, NIV)
He had always loved those who were his own in the world, and he loved them all the way to the end. (NCV)
1. Love has different looks. Love comes in various forms. It comes in different degrees, different levels.
You've heard the saying, "He has a face only a mother could love." That tells us something about his face...but it also tells us something about the love of a mother. It tells us that a mother's love is something special, something that goes beyond what many think love is.
There are, in fact, many different expressions of love.
We say we love pizza or we love the Vikings—but you better not feel the same about pizza or the Vikings as you feel about your husband or your wife. That's a different kind of love! The word love looks different in different settings.
It's legendary that the Eskimo—Aleut or Inuit tribes along the frozen artic have numerous words for snow, each describing a specific type. In the same way, the Greeks had several words to describe different types of love: agápē...phileo... érōs...storgē—meaning "unconditional or sacrificial love...brotherly love...erotic love, sensual desire...and affection."
English might not be as specific, but it's still true: love can have many different looks. And it's important for us to understand that there are multiple layers of caring—that we can love on different levels.
We can't love everyone everywhere every time equally. But we can seize the opportunities God gives us to love at one level or another. We shouldn't carry a burden of guilt about every starving child around the globe because individually, we can't fix that problem. But we can still show love to others.
You've perhaps heard the story of the man who was walking along the beach where the receding tide had left thousands of starfish caught on the sand. As he walked, he would stoop down every few feet, pick up one of the starfish, and hurl it into the waves. Someone watching him said, "Why are you doing that? You can't help all these starfish." The man paused for a moment, looked at the starfish he was holding in his hand, and said, "I know I can't help them all, but I can help this one." And with that, he threw it back into the waves.
We should not feel guilty for what we can't do, but we should take responsibility for what we can do. If we can't love everyone everywhere every time equally, we can at least show some love to some people sometimes.
If you love someone less than others, you may be misunderstood. You may be criticized. But you've got to let God's love compel you. Don't be motivated by the guilt or demands of others.
PHONE CALL asking for some financial help... "Can we talk about this a little later? I have to conduct a funeral in 30 minutes and the family is already here." Icy reply: "Well...go be with the people you love." [Right about then, my feelings of love for the person on the phone was pretty much drained away.]
2. Love has different expressions.
Around here, as we seek to nurture loving relationships within our congregation, we can express love in different ways.
(1) Warmly welcome everyone... Don't be afraid to say hello! It doesn't hurt you to smile. Don't wait for someone else to talk to you. Each one of you are hear-by commissioned as official greeters. What? Did you think our greeters have been to "Greeters Training School"?
Today is NAME TAG Sunday. Use those name tags. Do three things: (a) Look at the tag; (b) Look the person (eye to eye); (c) Smile (big, toothy smile); (d) Say "Hi" (or Good Morning...or Beautiful day...or Don't I know you from somewhere? or something).
(2) Visit each other on occasion...
The next two weeks you'll be given the opportunity to sign up for "Table Talk"—a chance to get to know a few people better outside the setting of a worship service or a church event. Some of you may recall doing "Dinner Groups" a few years ago.
(3) Connect more deeply with a few... You can't maintain deep, long-lasting connections with everyone. It's not physically possible. But we each need at least one other person whom we can get to know well enough and trust enough to share at a deeper level.
(4) Show kindness to everyone... Some have talked about doing "random acts of kindness." I like that.
This week we've heard that our society has become too hostile and antagonistic. Politicians have been calling for a return to civility: "We need a civil discourse," they say. [I think that smacks a lot of Orwellian doublespeak...but you noticed I expressed my opinion in a civil way.] In any event, as followers of Jesus, we should lead the way in being polite, using good manners, showing respect (even toward those with whom we disagree).
(5) Love your neighbor as you love yourself... This is known as the "Golden Rule." Jesus said, "So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets." (Matt 7:12)
(6) Give yourself sacrificially. This doesn't just mean jumping in front of a subway train to rescue someone who has fallen onto the tracks. It means setting aside your own interests to benefit someone else.
You can express love in various ways. For instance, Gary Chapman has written about the FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES:
- Words of Affirmation
If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, "I love you," are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.
- Quality Time
If this is your love language, nothing says, "I love you," like full, undivided attention. Having someone there for you is critical, but having them really be there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes you feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.
- Receiving Gifts
Don't mistake this for materialism, but if this is your love language, you thrive on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. The perfect gift or gesture makes you feel known, cared for, and prized above whatever it took to bring the gift to you. While everyday gestures show you are loved, a missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous.
- Acts of Service
If this is your love language, even vacuuming the carpet can be an expression of love. Anything done to ease the burden of your responsibilities can speak volumes. The six little words you like to hear: "Let me do that for you." But broken promises, laziness, or making more work for you makes you feel unloved.
- Physical Touch
If this is your love language, you're probably very touchy. A hug, a pat on the back, a thoughtful touch on the arm or shoulder show concern, care, and love for you. Being physically close is good, but distance or neglect undermines your feelings of being loved.
3. Love comes in different degrees.
There can also be different LEVELS or AMOUNTS of love. You can love different people at different INTENSITIES... You can love in different DEGREES.
A light in a dark place is always a light. But some lights have more or less intensity (candle, LED flashlight, halogen headlight, spot light, laser beam, sun light). In the same way love can come out at different levels of intensity. Light is light—no matter how bright. And love is love, no matter how intense.
Suppose you give a cup of water to runner in Grandma's Marathon. A random act of kindness to a stranger is an expression of love, but it's not the same intensity as a soldier throwing his body over a grenade in a foxhole to save his buddies. Both are "loving" things, but they are at different intensities.
Another way of saying it is that love can be expressed in multiple layers. Love on the surface is a start, but love can go so much further! The question is: How deep do you want to go?
We can use heat as an analogy for love, as though love were set by a thermostat. You can turn it up or down to different levels. If love were measured like temperature, some of you have been conserving a lot of energy. You've dialed the temperature way down. Others of you crank the thermostat way up; you like it hot.
Love is like that. Love comes in degrees. Look at the levels of love in John 13. Jesus loved his disciples, but later he showed them the "full extent" of his love (NIV).
- On one level he taught them...gave them hope for the future...changed their whole outlook.
- On another level he served them...washed their feet...cared for their personal needs.
- On the final level he gave his life for them...went to the cross.
In the same way, you can love people at different levels of intensity. Maybe you don't have love with the intensity of a spot light or a headlight. But at least you can start to love at a lower level—maybe with a flashlight or a candle light kind of love.
If you can't love to the "full extent," at least love to some extent!