Loving Your Neighbor As Yourself

Today we conclude a series of six messages called "Love Matters." For the first five weeks, we've been looking at the first and greatest commandment in the Bible--to love the Lord with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength.

We've seen how love like this involves our whole being--every aspect of our emotions, our will, our thinking, and even all our resources. Love like this demands everything we are and everything we have. To love God like this means that every moment of our every day will be influenced by our deep commitment and affection for the Lord.

But Jesus said there was a second commandment that is like the first! In fact, he said, the two commandments are connected.

...the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments. Matt 22:39-40

In other words, everything in the Book, comes back to these two standards, just like it says on the billboard: "Love God. Love People. Period."

Sounds simple enough. Almost too simple. So we start asking questions: How do you love? What kind of love? How much should we love? Who must we love? And so on...

Did you know Jesus wasn't the only one who said these were the two most important commandments? Other rabbis and teachers of the Law of Moses said the same thing. Luke (10:25-29) tells us about the time one of the legal experts gave this same answer to Jesus:

²⁵ On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. "Teacher," he asked, "what must I do to inherit eternal life?"
²⁶ "What is written in the Law?" he replied. "How do you read it?"
²⁷ He answered: "‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind' ; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.'"
²⁸ "You have answered correctly," Jesus replied. "Do this and you will live."
²⁹ But he wanted to justify himself, so he asked Jesus, "And who is my neighbor?"

There's the question, isn't it? Who is my neighbor?

Fred Flintstone and [Barney Rubble].

Ricky and Lucy and [Fred and Ethel].

Ralph and Alice Kramden and [Ed & Trixie Norton].

Tim (the Tool Man) Taylor and [Wilson].

Mr. Rogers--who is everybody's neighbor! It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood... Won't you be my neighbor?

The expert in the law did what lawyers are good at doing--he wanted to justify himself, to find a loophole in the law. We all do that! We know we should love our neighbor, but we know we don't love like we should. So we dodge the issue. We rationalize. We try to make excuses. We want to defend ourselves, so we say, "Well, I can't do anything about that problem--because he's not my neighbor."

So we come back to the question, Who is my neighbor? Who is it, exactly, we're supposed to love?

Where were you the night Kitty Genovese was murdered? If you're younger than 45 you weren't even born yet, but the story of Kitty Genovese's murder touched the nation's conscience. Her murder became symbolic of a society of people growing increasingly distant from each other, more apathetic and less involved with their neighbors. Here's the story from the New York Times (March 27, 1964, p 38):

"At approximately 3:20 on the morning of March 13, 1964, twenty-eight-year-old ...(Kitty) Genovese was returning [from working a late shift] to her home in a nice middle-class area of Queens, NY.... She parked her ....(car) in a nearby parking lot, turned-off the lights and started the walk to her second floor apartment some 35 yards away. She got as far as a streetlight when a man grabbed her. She screamed. Lights went on in the 10-floor apartment building nearby. She yelled, "Oh, my God, he stabbed me! Please help me!" Windows opened in the apartment building and a man's voice shouted, "Let that girl alone." The attacker looked up, shrugged and walked-off down the street. Ms Genovese struggled to get to her feet. Lights went back off in the apartments. The attacker came back and stabbed her again. She again cried out, "I'm dying! I'm dying!" And again the lights came on and windows opened in many of the nearby apartments. The assailant again left and got into his car and drove away. Ms Genovese staggered to her feet as a city bus drove by. It was now 3:35 a.m. The attacker returned once again. He found her in a doorway at the foot of the stairs and he stabbed her a third time--this time with a fatal consequence. It was 3:50 when the police received the first call. They responded quickly and within two minutes were at the scene. Ms Genovese was already dead.... " [The New York Times, March 27, 1964, p. 38.]

This incident troubled a lot of people at the time. They said it showed what was wrong with America--people were too indifferent or too frightened or too alienated or too self-absorbed to "get involved'' in helping a fellow human being in dire trouble.... Detectives investigating...the murder discovered that no fewer than 38 of her neighbors had witnessed at least one of her killer's three attacks But none of them helped; none of them called the police. The one call to the police came after Genovese was already dead.... [Long Island Our Story by Michael Dorman. www.lihistory.com/8/hs818a]

But we're different from apathetic, calloused, urban New Yorkers, right? Here in the heartland of America, here in our rural county, you and I have good, solid, down-home, help-your-neighbor values. Right? We would at least call the police, right?

The question goes deeper than that, however. Because if we're honest, it's impossible for us to meet every single need that comes to our attention. So we become selective. We prioritize what we can do or what we should do. Sometimes we help; sometimes we don't. In the process we begin to evaluate who is most needy--who is most deserving of help.

Human nature wants to look down on others. If we can look down on others it makes us feel better about ourselves. That makes it easy to judge some as unworthy of our help--if they mismanage their money, if they can't hold a job, if they become addicted to drugs or alcohol or gambling. If someone needs money to feed their children, we're sympathetic. But if we discover they're short on money because they bought a large-screen, flat-panel LCD or because they had to pay for their cable TV or because they spent their last paycheck at the casino, then suddenly, we're not so sympathetic.

So we look for loopholes. Whom do we help? When do we help? How do we help? How much do we help? Just like the expert in the law, we want to justify our actions. Who is my neighbor, anyway? So, to answer his question, Jesus told a story.

³⁰ In reply Jesus said: "A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he fell into the hands of robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead. ³¹ A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side. ³² So too, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. ³³ But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him [NASB: felt compassion]. ³⁴ He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, took him to an inn and took care of him. ³⁵ The next day he took out two silver coins and gave them to the innkeeper. ‘Look after him,' he said, ‘and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.' ³⁶ "Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?"
³⁷ The expert in the law replied, "The one who had mercy on him."
Jesus told him, "Go and do likewise." (Luke 10:25-37)

Remember, Jesus told this story to help us understand the second most important commandment--to love our neighbor as ourselves. So before we look at this story, I want to investigate this commandment a little bit more, which comes from Leviticus 19:18--

Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the LORD. (Lev 19:18)

Notice a few quick things about this commandment.

 1. Love others as you "love yourself."

• Some say this means you can't love others unless you learn to love yourself.
• But this misses the point that most of us already love ourselves too much! Self-love is an endless quest.
• Trying to love ourselves more only leads to self-centered attitudes, self-indulgent behavior, selfishness, and a self-absorbed life-style.
• Instead of loving yourself more; try thinking of others more than yourself (cf. Phil 2:3-4).

 2. We need God's help to love like that. We can't do it on our own!

• The command compares the ideal (love) with the typical human response--getting revenge or holding a grudge.
• If we do what comes natural, we'll look for revenge or carry a grudge. Loving a neighbor in the same way we love ourselves is not natural. In fact, it is not even humanly possible.
• We need God's love within us if we ever hope to love like that!

 3. When we can't live up to it, human nature is to make excuses.

• Jesus quoted Jewish teachers (Matt 5:44): "You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.'"
• But it doesn't say "hate your enemy" in the OT. It was the teachers who distorted Scripture! The interpreted it to say that loving your neighbor meant to love other Jews--but that didn't mean non-Jews. In fact, they said, it is okay to hate your enemies. They were rationalizing!
• Maybe that's why this expert of the law asked the question about who his neighbor was! And maybe that's why Jesus used a non-Jew to make his point.

 4. Our love for others is a measure of our love for God.

• A barometer to measure how much the love of God is in us. "...if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us" (1 John 4:12).
• If we're not loving towards others, then we know we don't really love God. "For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen" (1 John 4:20).
• "He who is kind to the poor lends to the LORD..." (Prov 19:17).
• "If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him?" (1 John 3:17).

Now let's look at Jesus' answer. Did you notice that Jesus changed the question around? The lawyer asked, "Who is my neighbor?" but Jesus asked, "Which one was a neighbor? Which one acted like a neighbor?"

In Jesus' story, the focus of the question wasn't on the man in need. The focus of the question was on those who could do something about it. Jesus focused his question on the other travelers--the priest, the Levite, the Samaritan.

We're like the expert in the Law. We want to spell out whom we should help. So we define a neighbor as someone who lives close by or as someone we know. We recognize our neighbors at Wall-Mart. If their car breaks down along the road, we'll stop to help because we recognize them.

But the man in Jesus' story doesn't fit these definitions of a neighbor.

1. He was a stranger--he was unknown to the passersby; he didn't live close by. We don't have to know someone to be a neighbor to him or her.

2. He was different--quite different from the one who helped him. He was a Jew; the helper was a Samaritan! There was no love lost between Jews and Samaritans. Jews viewed them as half-breeds, racially contaminated. Theologically deficient. Jews would detour around Samaria to avoid Samaritans. We don't have to be the same as others to be a neighbor to them.

3. He was in need. He was hurting and suffering. He was alone and unable to help himself. We don't have to find deserving people to be a neighbor--just needy people.

Jesus pictured a neighbor as someone who needed help. A neighbor is our chance to minister to someone--to get outside of ourselves and extend God's love to another.

And that's why we should be less concerned about WHO fits the definition and more concerned about how WE fit it. Instead of looking for whom we have to be neighborly to, we should be looking at our own actions: "Am I acting like a neighbor? Do I have the love of God in me?"

Jesus said, "Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man?"

Was it the priest? The religious man? The one who was supposed to be a mediator between God and men? The one who was supposed to bring needy people to God--and bring God's blessings to those in need?

There on the road the religious man missed the opportunity to minister to someone in need. Why? Did he rationalize? This man doesn't deserve to be helped. If he was stupid enough to carry his money and travel alone on this dangerous road, then he doesn't deserve my help.

Was it the Levite? The temple assistant? The one with responsibilities of caring for the temple building and all its furnishings? Maybe he was a musician, a worship leader. Did he make excuses? I'd like to help, but this isn't in my job description. It's not my assignment. I don't even have the spiritual gift of mercy. Besides, I have other things to do--important, religious things.

No, it was the Samaritan! The despised, hated Samaritan. The half-Jew with corrupted theology. The one person a Jew would never have helped. If the roles had been reversed, if the Samaritan had been beaten up and robbed and left half-dead, the Jewish man would likely have thought: "Look at that loser Samaritan! Boy! Did he ever get what he deserved!

But the Samaritan responded as a neighbor; he responded with love. He did four things...

1. He took pity on him. They all saw the victim, but only the Samaritan had an inner response to the man's hurt and pain. He took pity on him--he "felt compassion" (NASB). The original word* meant: "to be moved in the inward parts"--it comes from a word that refers to the intestines or bowels. That may sound weird, but not any worse than when we say something is "gut-wrenching" or that we have a "gut feeling." [*splagchnizomai]

It simply meant that he identified himself with what this man was going through. He felt his pain. He suffered with him. When he looked at that suffering man lying half-dead by the side of the road, something happened in his gut; something that made it impossible for him to walk away.

If you want to love your neighbor as yourself, then you'll need to have God's love working within you--so your guts will be wrenched when you see others in pain. It's deep inside that God helps us to see others as he sees them. It's deep inside that God helps us to feel for others what he feels.

Whether we have compassion or not is a barometer that shows what kind of relationship we have with God. A compassionate neighbor--one who feels deeply for others--is one who has been impacted deeply by the love of God--and has the guts to do something about it.

2. He went to him. He came close enough to get involved. He knelt down next to him and touched the man. He didn't care for him from a distance. He went to him.

If you want to love your neighbor as yourself, then you must respond to the compassion you feel. Love gets involved. Love is not distant. Love compels you to go.

3. He bandaged his wounds. He cleaned the wounds (the Greek word is trauma) with wine (antiseptic) and soothed them with oil (like a healing salve or ointment). He covered the wounds, binding them tightly to stop the bleeding.

If you want to love your neighbor as yourself, then you will bandage the hurt. You will bring comfort, care, and healing to those who have been battered and bruised by the blows of life.

4. He took him to safety. He put the man on his own donkey and checked him into a safe place. He used his own resources to help the man.

If you want to love your neighbor as yourself, you will lift him up and carry him to safety. Love goes the distance--it doesn't just bandage the wounds and stop there; it doesn't just treat the problem and leave the victim on his own. Love follows up. Love completes what was started.

If the thief has come to rob and steal your joy, if you've been beaten up by the tragic blows of life, if you've been left lying hurt and bleeding--Jesus is the full expression of God's love! He feels compassion for you; he came to this world to stoop down next to us and share in the the pain and the agony of our sin and failure. He came to bandage our wounds, to pour in the oil of the Holy Spirit and the new wine of the Good News. He came to pick us up and take us to safety.

And he calls us to be his agents of God's love...